22 September 2011

Farewell, Summer

I have been fighting a nasty sinus infection for the past two weeks.  By fighting it, I of course mean that I did NOT go to the doctor and did NOT take antibiotics and did NOT take anything to subdue my symptoms, but merely whined about feeling horrible the entire time.  However, I do feel myself back on the mend, which I think I can thank a night of too much wine with a good friend of mine (I love you Liz! Thanks!!).  My husband has this theory that coffee is a cure all. I almost agree; a good bottle of wine can often do the trick.

I start classes today for my last year of my MFA program (so bittersweet!).  It's a curious thing: before school let out for summer I swore aloud to a group of my peers and mentors that I would have a sketchy draft of my thesis and an overambitious draft my entire manuscript composed.

Now, since today is day ONE, I feel like a fraud.  *insert frowny face*

Sure, I wrote over the summer but nowhere NEAR how I imagined months ago my manuscript might look. And instead of a sketchy draft of my thesis where I get to spend pages of ad nauseum self-reflection and analysis on my own creative processes, I have piles of half-read research.  Cool.

But on a good note, this summer was a rediscovery some hobbies (blogging and journaling;  in an youthful eager and self-indulgent sort of way) and found some new ones (like photo editing).  And I'm not sure if it's a "milestone" age thing (since I'm hitting a big birthday within the next 365 days) but I am more aware of my enjoying my life, my mind and my body.  The latter might be the biggest discovery this has been my biggest trip up in life which then sets a domino effect on the rest of those things (mind, heart, situation, life).  Do you notice that when your body feels good, the rest will follow?  And that when you let go, stop worrying, everything else becomes more fluid?  I've hated my body for so long, for so many reasons and I finally somewhere in the last year stopped fighting it.  It has its quirks and weirdnesses but it is resilient and beautiful nonetheless (which I both do and don't mean in a superficial sort of way---after all is it really superficial to enjoy one's self???).

What are your thoughts on the connections of the heart-mind-body-community-world?  And how do they factor in to your own self-perceptions?

Enjoy a photo of my sky as it appeared this summer.  Colors have not been touched up. In fact, they are less vivid than the actual experience.

1 comment:

  1. I love you, my beautiful one!

    When can I read some of your stuff? I'm jonesing!

    And I want to come back and sit on your deck with you.